Last Monday, I received a number of texts from friends I went to high school with back in Guatemala. They told me that one of us had died violently that very morning. This friend had been like a brother to me, and now he was gone. His life had ended senselessly in a random car jacking. He left behind a young family and a mother that depended on him financially and otherwise. The news was hard to swallow.

I grew up in Guatemala and attended a boarding school throughout high school. Our experience there was life changing, and my friends and I grew very close. We called each other brothers. We’ve remained close through the years, helping each other out. I went back last year, for the 25th reunion, and it was like no time had passed at all. We picked up right where we left off. Our love for each other has remained strong, so when something like this happens, we all feel the loss in the way a brother would.

It’s sad to say, but he is not the first one of us to succumb too early to a violent death. We talked about our group of friends, recounting how many had been killed in senseless acts of violence. It was shocking to realize it. They weren’t gang members; they were hard working individuals who were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time.

There's a common phrase that “chapines” (Guatemalans) say about life in Guatemala: “En Guatemala, la vida no vale nada,” which means, “In Guatemala, life is worth nothing.” Unfortunately, history seems to support the saying. During the country’s bloody and genocidal 36-year civil war (the main reason why I left), about 200,000 people were killed or “disappeared,” and many were buried in mass graves never to be seen or heard from again. The war left a brutal legacy of violence in an otherwise beautiful country.

When the civil war ended, the government and the guerrillas signed a peace treaty and ended the war. They told their ranks, “The war has ended, go find a job now.” The majority returned to their ravished homes and picked up where they left off with what they had. Many had no homes to return to, and many others simply continued a life of violence. It wasn’t about fighting this time, but simple survival, since they didn’t know what else to do. The political war had ended, but common crime and violence increased tremendously.

To complicate matters, Mexican drug cartels now play a key role in the violence in Guatemala, using gangs as foot soldiers and killers for hire.
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The violence is so bad that in many communities, citizens have taken the law into their own hands. Ordinary citizens form vigilante groups to try to ensure community safety against the proliferation of cartel-related violence. Hiding their identities for fear of reprisal, they patrol the streets, armed, taking the law into their own hands. Unfortunately, these groups aren’t any different from common criminals. Many have been accused of killing innocent people and perpetrating acts of violence, continuing a horrible cycle of violence.

Where is the government, you might ask? As the country approaches presidential elections, more of the same seems to be on the horizon. Politicians make promises and deliver nothing, all the while increasing the size of their bank accounts through shameless acts of corruption.

I am blessed to have made a life outside of Guatemala. I miss my family and my brothers tremendously, and it pains me to see them dealing with tragedy again and again. Even though I would like to do something about it, the reality is that I can’t control any of it.

One thing I’ve learned over the years is that some things you can change and some things you can’t, and you have to learn to live with and accept those things that are beyond your control. The death of my friend is something I can’t control, nor the violence and political situation in Guatemala. The only thing I can control is how I react to these things.

In the case of my friend’s death, I’ve taken the time to mourn, I’ve remembered the good times we enjoyed together, and I will be forever grateful for the experience we shared at school. It’s reminded me to always make sure I leave the ones I love with loving words, because it might be the last time I get the chance to say them.

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