I own it, it is fate, it is destiny, are three ways I have heard people describe their current situation. Fate is what we do if we don’t deliberately choose a path, destiny is our potential waiting to happen. I own it, is taking responsibility for our own destiny and making it happen.
I remember the day when I decided that I was going to take responsibility for my own destiny. It was on a run actually, a run that lasted longer that I had anticipated. I had been dealing with the horrible consequences of recovering from my first brain surgery. Physically and emotionally I was a wreck, and I kept asking myself one question, Why me?
Then it hit me, why not? I was asking a question that had no answer and most importantly, a question that allowed me to justify my newly acquired shortcomings. I shifted and started to ask a different question, What am I going to do about this?
I remember very clearly how my thinking started to shift from being a victim to the person I am today. I don’t want to simplify this, this shift didn’t happen overnight and it took me a few years to make it. I did it on my own, and I wish somebody had told me earlier this, it would have been easier. I have learned that there two basic mentalities, coping with change or becoming a victim of change.
What triggered the shift?
The shift was triggered by a sense of ownership, I own this. I realized that I couldn’t “delegate” my recovery to somebody else, I realize that I was the person responsible for my own recovery and growth, I realized that no matter how much I complained or blame others, nothing was going to change unless I changed. I also realized that the Tumor was never going to go away, that the new me included the tumor. So I embraced him and even gave him a name “my precious”.
Today I take ownership and responsibility. Like all of us, I am not perfect and I am a work in progress. I don’t pretend to have all of the answers, I know I am making mistakes. But I have committed to discovering and learning every day; I own it. Owning it is one part of the equation, the other component is changing our mindset and behaviors.
Remembering that it is a choice more than a chance that determines our circumstances. How we react to change is up to us, and although we will never be able to control it, refusing to succumb to the highly infectious “Victimitis syndrome” (“it’s all their fault” and “there’s nothing I can do”) is something we must do.
You cannot control the rain, but you can control if you get wet or not.
A Challenge for you
What about you?
What are you owning?
What are you afraid of?
What are you resisting?
1- What is the one thing can you complain about the most and blame others or the circumstances for? (When I did this personally I could have filled a book).
2- Chose a timeframe (start with a day), that you will avoid blaming others or complaining about that thing.
3- Don’t bother with this part until you stop blaming or complaining for at least a week. Think about the thing that now you own, and ask yourself this question “What am I going to do about this?”
Commit to it by sending me an email with what are you going to own and what are you going to do about it?
If I don’t get an email you, I know that I didn’t live up to my promise of providing something of value to you. I want to hear from you!