Do not believe that external forces control your destiny.
I have the strong belief that we control our own lives. Granted, there are many events we have no control over, but we sure can control how we react to those events. If we have a strong belief that we can control our destiny, we can deal with whatever life throws at us.
As a child I was pretty small in size. I really didn’t grow much in my early years. When I entered elementary school, I was pretty much the smallest kid in the class and, unfortunately, the easiest to pick on. I went to school in Guatemala and back then, my school didn’t have age restrictions in regards to who was going to be in what grade. There were kids far older that my seven years, and, as one of the smallest, I was picked on all the time.
There were these two older kids who were considered the kings of the 3rd grade classroom. They would terrorize pretty much everyone, including me. I realized early on that these kids didn’t like each other very much, and they were in constant competition to be the biggest bully.
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You might be wondering where my parents were and why they allowed the bullying to go on in the first place, but my parents were too busy working hard to provide for the family. They didn’t have much time to deal with kid’s stuff. We were really poor back then, dirt poor, so they had other priorities. I remember my father even telling me to take care of myself the best I could. It was custom in those days for parents to relinquish authority over their children to the teacher, and I’ve already explained how they dealt out discipline. They were permitted to hit us or discipline us in any way they saw fit, and my God, did they take advantage of that power. Protecting us from bullying was not part of the deal.
In any event, my time in 3rd grade was a learning experience. I knew I couldn’t control how Masa behaved or acted, but I could control how I reacted to him. By offering to help him with his homework, I turned him into an ally and protector.
To this day, that lesson still resonates with me. I live with the motto, I cannot control the rain, but I can control if I get wet or not. It’s not always easy to control your reactions in every situation, but the more you become aware of them, the more you learn to tame them. Do this: make a list of all the issues that are bothering you right now. You’ll be surprised that many of them can be solved by simply changing your reaction to them.
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