Fear has the ability to paralyze us—if we let it. Many times, I have found myself completely paralyzed by fear, unable to move forward. But once I learned that this behavior only fed the fear, I started doing everything I could to starve it instead. Rather than giving in to fear and letting it hold me back, I needed to face my fears whenever I could.

I don’t mean that I started base-jumping, or purposefully trapping myself in elevators, or allowing tarantulas to climb all over my body. I’m not that crazy. But instead of simply allowing fear to grow within me and slowly paralyze me, I have instead allowed it to become part of the stories that make up my life. Fear has become part of the learning process, rather than a hindrance to it. I now understand that being aware of your fears and facing them head on is the fist step to conquering them.

I’ve already shared a couple of my stories involving facing my biggest fears, but none stand out as prominently as my first Ironman race in Panama City Beach, Florida, in 2005. As I’ve said in the past, it was my first Ironman distance triathlon, and I was a bundle of fear and nerves. Even so, what I remember most about that Sunday morning is not the fear I felt, but the moment at the start when I dived into the water and all of my fear evaporated.

I didn’t realize then that my fear had gone away; I was too focused on staying afloat among 2000 other swimmers, all of us making slow progress toward the horizon. But I can look back now and understand that once I hit the water, I was too busy to be afraid any longer. I was finally doing what I’d prepared to do—what I’d been afraid to do—and I had 2.4 miles of swimming, 112 miles of biking, and 26.2 miles of running to concentrate on. At that moment, there was no room for fear, only determination, and so it simply disappeared.
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Conquering my first Ironman was an epic lesson in facing my fears, but I get smaller, more humble (but no less important) opportunities to face my fears every day. As a business consultant, I am solely responsible for growing my own business. In order to do that, I have to call people, introduce myself and my services, and try to convince them to meet with me. I face an ongoing fear of rejection every time I have to make these calls. Sometimes that fear threatens to hold me back and prevent me from doing what I need to do.

But then I remember Panama City Beach. I remember what it felt like to face my fear that day, how diving in made the fear go away, and the powerful sense of accomplishment I felt when I finished. Bolstered by those memories, I am able to pick up the phone and make my calls. Once I overcame my initial fear of reaching out, an amazing thing happened: my calendar started to fill up, and all of a sudden, I had people to meet with that could potentially turn into business. All it took was one very simple act: diving in.

So whatever you are afraid of, put a date on your calendar (a starting cannon), and when that date comes, do the thing you are afraid to do. Once you do this, the fear you felt will be replaced with an extraordinary feeling of accomplishment. Fear happens, and it will always be part of your life, but you can choose whether you feed it or starve it. If you want to starve fear, all you need to do is dive in and start doing what you are afraid of.

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