Up until last night, I didn't really know what I was going to write about for today's post. I had a few ideas, but I didn't feel particularly inspired by any of them, or compelled to write about them. These ideas are on a list I keep of blog post topics, but I've learned that every idea has it's place, and none of them were right for today.

Then I went out to dinner and spent three hours getting to know two hugely inspiring individuals with a story that has the power to change lives—save lives, even. Over sushi rolls, glasses of wine, and something called a "Blue Ocean Punch Bowl", I came to realize just how much we had in common with this couple that had been through a horrific and life-changing experience, and how much we had to learn from each other. On the way home, I knew what I wanted to write about.

Because this has been a reoccurring theme in my life over the past couple of years. For a long time, I made a point of doing things on my own. I had a few close friends, yes, but I was never one to seek out friendship, ask for advice, or lean on others. I guess I was sort of a loner. I was always fiercely independent, never wanting to need or depend on anyone. I didn't like asking for help, or letting too many people into my life. A part of me saw it—and, admittedly, still sees it—as a weakness.

But what I've learned is that I was far weaker back then, isolated and independent, compared to now, when I've begun to build a band of people that reinforces the ideals I've come to believe in. I've been amazed at how empowering and fortuitous it can be to open up, share your story, and be inspired.

Last night, we talked a lot about recent changes we'd gone through in our lives, how some of them had been really terrible, and how we felt like completely different people after coming out on the other side. We had a lot of similar ideas: that it wasn't the experience or change that defined us, but how we dealt with it; that pain and tragedy can shape a person, give them new dimensions, force them to grow into a better version of themselves; that losing everything will teach you to appreciate less; that tragedy or illness—vulnerability—will bring out the best and worst in people; that there is something to be learned from even the most horrible experience; that we can grow and change, and be thankful in the end for having been through it.

It was astounding and gratifying to realize that, although we hardly knew each other, came from completely different places, led different lives, had been through different experiences, somehow, we ended up in the same place. And more than that, we were going in the same direction. Our lives had converged.

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I now believe that it's important to surround yourself with people who will champion your dreams; who will tell you about their dreams and why they are worth fighting for; who will tell you how their experiences have changed their lives, and why they are happier for it.

There will always be people who tell you that you're making bad decisions, that you're not doing the responsible thing, or that your plans are silly. They aren't the people who matter; they won't help you live a better life. The ones who matter are the ones whose courage moves you, whose stories inspire you, and whose strength humbles you. They're the ones who will stand by you and encourage you to keep going, just as you will do for them.

Encounters like these always leave me feeling energized, like there is some kind of electric residue left after a group of people spend some time talking about something that really matters. In a way, it's a sort of confirmation, or validation, that this is how we should be living our lives. And it makes me believe the theory that we are all connected, like some vast knot that continues to grow and bind together. Our experiences make us individuals, and yet, draw us to each other. I'm reminded of a quote I came across earlier this week that I think sums up very nicely what I am trying to say:

"Be careful the environment you choose, for it will shape you. Be careful the friends you choose for you will become like them." —W. Clement Stone

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