I've been getting my own test in moving beyond the fear these past two months. In mid-November, I quit my job for apinkslip different life; a life which consisted of more freedom, more time, and more writing—part of which is writing to you folks here on BTF. Well, that lasted about a month and a half (which, with the holidays, didn't seem like more than a week) before I received a punch to the stomach that I never expected: last week, my husband Sean was laid off from his job of eight years. It was a complete shock.

Sure, with me giving up my full-time job, we worried what would happen if Sean were to lose his, but it was always an abstract idea; nothing that held any weight. We never imagined that such an event would happen so soon. And it was terrifying when it happened. There were feelings of fear, despair, resentment, panic, betrayal, and others. But there were also feelings of hope and possibility. That week, I shared what I was feeling on Facebook:

"This life is funny sometimes. Sometimes you get the opportunity to live by your own advice."

I was thinking about Beyond the Fear, and all that this blog stands for. So let's see how we're doing by BTF standards:

Fear happens, right? So what am I afraid of? Before, when I first left my job, I had the luxury of being afraid of depending on someone to the extent that I would have to depend on Sean. I was afraid that my efforts to build something of my own wouldn't amount to anything, that I would fail. Those fears are still there, but now there are new ones. Now I fear what will happen to us; will we have enough money; will people call our decisions irresponsible; will Sean have to go back to a corporate world he does not belong in? I am afraid of the guilt I feel at the prospect of continuing to pursue my dreams at the cost of him delaying his.

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Change happens. Boy, does it. And didn't we say it happens most often when we least expect it? Let change be the force that propels you forward, we said. OK. So this is one hell of a change we are immersed in. Not so long ago, we were two 30-somethings who'd spent the last 14+ years building full-time careers in the corporate world. We owned a home, made money and spent it, consuming with the best of them, secure in the promise of a regular paycheck. Now we are a pair of unemployed 30-somethings, living at home with Sean's mother. If that doesn't describe a drastic change, I don't know what does. But it is also an opportunity—an opportunity to see this as a chance instead of a drawback; a golden ticket instead of a failure. The conversations we have over dinner have changed from worries over mortgage payments and gripes about office politics to the possibility of travel, moving to the mountains, and canceling cable so that we can afford an unconventional life.

You Are Stronger Than You Think you Are. This is ultimately a test of our inner strength, and the strength of our conviction. Are we strong enough to take advantage of this opportunity we have been given, or will we chicken out and scurry back to what we perceive to be safe? Are we strong enough to build something of our own? We are if we want it bad enough.

You Don't Have To Do It Alone. We are, without a doubt, in this together—literally, now that we are both unemployed. We also have an amazing network of family and friends standing by us, nervous for what will happen, but excited for our next steps.

Find Your Passion. Would Sean have been able to pursue his passion, or even identify it, from behind his grey cubicle walls as he worked at a job that drained all of his energy, motivation and creativity? Would he have had the strength to walk away from the perceived security that this job afforded in exchange for a path of uncertainty and risk? It's doubtful. The day he was let go, Sean asked me, "Are they making a decision for me that I couldn't make on my own?" Because the truth of it is, he'd known for a long time his heart wasn't in it. He showed up for a paycheck, his attendance tethered to a sense of loyalty, and with a hope that it would all work out eventually. Now that all of that clutter has been cleared away, he is free to ask himself if he wouldn't like to spend his time and energy doing something different, something that makes him feel alive. And he is more excited than he has been in a long time.

This life really is strange; you can never predict what it will present you with next. All you can do is go with it, do the best you can, and sometimes take your own advice.

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