Somebody said that we are the product of what we say to ourselves, our self-talk. It is time to tell the negative committee inside your head to shut up.
Remember Saturday night live “Daily Affirmation with Stuart Smalley” While looking in the mirror, Smalley would recite the words “I am good enough, I am smart enough, doggone, people like me” In the show, the more he would repeat this affirmation the worst he felt. He then started saying negative things, and we laughed because at one point or another we all have done this.
Then a few months ago I came across a video, a video of a dad and daughter duo getting their daily mirror affirmations and I thought to myself I should do this.
From that they on, Alexis and I have this self-talk routine. Before she goes to school, we stand in front of the mirror and she tells herself the following:
- I am Strong
- I am Kind
- I am Intelligent
- I am beautiful
- I can do anything
We have been doing this every day for a few months. First, it all started because it was an excellent idea. Then a couple of things happened that really made me realize that this little routine is working.
As we were leaving the pool one day, the lady at the front desk told her… “you are so good and happy all the time, why are you happy today?” she responded without missing a bit “because I am strong and kind.”
Just recently a little friend of hers was crying because she wanted a toy that Alexis was holding, she asked me “why is she crying?” I told her that she wanted the toy she had. She walked over and handed her the toy. When she came back, I told her, “you are so nice, thank you for doing that, why did you give her the toy?, she responded, “because I am kind.”
Amy Cuddy, a Harvard Professor, has a great TED talk, which is among the most popular of all time, and now a book promoting the idea that “a person can, by assuming two simple one-minute poses, embody power and instantly become more powerful.” This is simply another version of “self-talk, ” and I am a firm believer that talking to ourselves and believing that we are powerful changes how we behave and most importantly how others see us.
When we feel powerless and weak in any situations, we tend to close up; we make ourselves small; we become defensive; we don’t want to interact with people; we are afraid that they will see we aren’t good enough. By talking to ourselves and assuming a position of power for two minutes just before entering such situation will change your biochemistry and will make you feel powerful and more confident. Give it a try, take a look at the Ted Talk below.
Tiny things that we say to ourselves can lead to big changes in our confidence and behavior. My goal is to help my daughter to grow into a strong and kind human being, but it doesn’t matter what I think of her, what matters is what she thinks of herself. Each of us has a set of messages that we play to ourselves over and over. They truly have an effect on our lives. What are you saying to yourself every day? Are you positive or negative? Are you even aware of that self-talk going on in your head every day?