Many people spend a great deal of energy fighting against their own limitations. We tell ourselves, "I can't do that," "I can'tno help it," or my personal favorite, "It has always been that way." I've heard this excuse so many times from people faced with an unwanted change or risk that I could write a book about the topic of "self-imposed limitations" and how we let our own self-defeating thoughts hold us back from achieving our full potential.

Just this morning, in the world of spam and junk mail, I received something that really got my attention. No, I didn't buy anything, but I was amused by the catchy email headline: "You're fat...Go on a Diet Immediately," followed by the tagline, "A Way for You to Lose a Quick 25 lb." My first thought was that words are powerful—even the words we tell ourselves—and that most of us don't realize it. The words "lose" and "fat" are words that I put in the "downer category." I don't use these words unless I am describing the actual adipose tissue (aka FAT), not the person. My second thought was to wonder if anyone actually falls for these emails. I am not sure, but I hope not. The point is that words are very powerful, and that we must be aware of our self-imposed limitations in order to break them.

"Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours." – Richard Bach

  • If you believe there's no way you can do it, you are probably right.
  • If you believe there's someone holding you down, you will act as though there is.
  • If you believe that life is unfair and that you'll never succeed, you won't, I guarantee it. Because whatever success you have, you'll subconsciously sabotage anyway.

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Our minds are really powerful instruments, and these kinds of self-imposed, self-defeating statements and negative thoughts are more common than you think. When we believe that something is true or beyond our reach, it is very hard to pierce through the self-imposed limitation we put on ourselves.

So how do you deal with these thoughts? First, you must be aware that you are having them. Negative thoughts are a normal part of human functioning, so there's no need to worry about the fact that you're having them in the first place. No matter how horrible they get, chances are you could find a handful of people with the same thoughts you are having. Second, understand that you don't have to believe your negative thoughts! Nope. You can choose to believe them or not; it's as simple as that.

Some techniques can help you be more successful at combatting your negative thoughts. Personally, when I am having negative thoughts, I think of something I did that made me so proud. I think of my biggest accomplishment, and that thought gives me confidence. All of a sudden, the negative thought shrinks away and becomes less important. Another technique that I use is writing down my negative thought. Once it is written, I crumble the piece of paper and throw it away. This technique, although simple, is very effective.

But the most important step is the first one: being aware of your negative thoughts and labeling them as such. The minute you label them, they are identified as unwanted thoughts and part of their power is removed. Being aware and using some of these techniques will show you how easy it is to get rid of the self-limiting thoughts you don't want in your life.

We are works in progress, and as such, we must be aware that we don't have all the answers. But if we always look for ways to be better, to be aware of what our minds are telling us, and most importantly, if we believe that we can do better, then we will. There is no room for negative thoughts in our brains if we always strive to have a positive outlook on life.

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